George Carlin Quotes About Giving

• Conservatives say if you don't give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. As for the poor, they tell us they've lost all incentive because we've given them too much money.

  George Carlin

  Giving, Political, Incentives

• No le des tu dinero a la iglesia. Ellos deberían darte su dinero a ti.

  George Carlin

  Inspiración, Divertido, Vida

  George Carlin (2002). "Napalm & Silly Putty", Hyperion

• Dale un pez a un hombre y comerá durante un día. Enséñale a pescar y se pasará el día bebiendo cerveza en una barca.

  George Carlin

  Funny, Humor, Beer

• You know what they want? They want obedient workers. Obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. And just dumb enough to passively accept all these increasingly shittier jobs with the lower pay, the longer hours, the reduced benefits, the end of overtime and vanishing pension that disappears the minute you go to collect it. And now they're coming for your Social Security money. They want your f**kin' retirement money. They want it back so they can give it to their criminal friends on Wall Street.

  George Carlin

  Running, Retirement, Jobs

  "Merece la pena perder la vida". Documental, Comedia, 2005.

• The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind that Hitler was elected in a full, free democratic election

  George Carlin

  Bullshit, Giving, Voting

  George Carlin (2002). "Napalm & Silly Putty", Hyperion

• The larger the group, the more toxic, the more of your beauty as an individual you have to surrender for the sake of group thought. And when you suspend your individual beauty you also give up a lot of your humanity. You will do things in the name of a group that you would never do on your own. Injuring, hurting, killing, drinking are all part of it, because you've lost your identity, because you now owe your allegiance to this thing that's bigger than you are and that controls you.

  George Carlin

  Hurt, Giving Up, Drinking

• The things they don't tell you in schools these days, geez. Have a look at your owners. The politicians are put there to give you the idea you have freedom of choice. You don't. You have no choice; you have owners. They own you. They own everything.

  George Carlin

  School, Ideas, Giving

• Hay una razón por la que la educación apesta, y es la misma razón por la que nunca jamás se arreglará. Nunca va a mejorar. No lo busques. Sé feliz con lo que tienes, porque los dueños de este país no quieren eso. Estoy hablando de los verdaderos dueños ahora... los verdaderos dueños. Los grandes y ricos intereses empresariales que controlan las cosas y toman todas las decisiones importantes. Olvídate de los políticos. Los políticos están ahí para darte la idea de que tienes libertad de elección. No la tienes. No tienes elección. Tienes dueños.

  George Carlin

  Educación, País, Real

  "Merece la pena perder la vida". Documental, Comedia, 2005.

• Politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. You don't.

  George Carlin

  Ideas, Giving, Choices

  "Merece la pena perder la vida". Documental, Comedia, 2005.

• Aún no ha salido en los medios de comunicación, pero el mayor aumento del cáncer de piel se ha producido desde la aparición de los protectores solares. Ese tipo de cosas me hacen feliz. El hecho de que la gente, en busca de una apariencia superficial de salud, se provoque a sí misma una enfermedad mortal. Me encanta cuando los seres humanos "razonadores" creen que han descubierto la manera de vencer algo y éste vuelve y les da una patada en los huevos. Dios bendiga la ley de las consecuencias imprevistas. Y la ironía es impresionante: la gente sana, tratando de parecer más sana, se enferma a sí misma. ¡Qué bien!

  George Carlin

  Cancer, Thinking, Media

  George Carlin (1998). "Brain Droppings", Hyperion

• One of the first things they teach you in Driver's Ed is where to put your hands on the steering wheel. They tell you put 'em at ten o'clock and two o' clock. Never mind that . I put mine at 9:45 and 2:17. Gives me an extra half hour to get where I'm goin'.

  George Carlin

  Humorous, Hands, Two

  George Carlin (2002). "Napalm & Silly Putty", Hyperion

• It's nothing but a big stroke job in this country. The government strokes you every day of your life. Religion never stops stroking you. Big business gives you a good stroke. And it's one big, transcontinental, cross-country, red, white and blue stroke job... Do you know what the national emblem for this country ought to be? Forget that bald eagle. The national emblem of this country ought to be Uncle Sam standing naked at attention saluting, and seated on a chair next to him, the Statue of Liberty jerking him off. That would be a good symbol for the United Strokes of America.

  George Carlin

  Country, Uncles, Jobs

  "George Carlin... It's Bad for Ya!", www.imdb.com. 2008.

• Los ecologistas cambiaron la palabra selva por bosque tropical, porque nadie les daría dinero para salvar una selva. Lo mismo con pantanos y humedales.

  George Carlin

  Lluvia, Dar, Humedales

• Language always gives you away.

  George Carlin

  Giving, Language

• I sort of gave up on this whole human adventure a long time ago, divorced myself from it emotionally. It gives me an artistic detachment that I find valuable. I think the human race has squandered its gift, and I think this country has squandered its promise, for the sake of cell phones and Jet Skis.

  George Carlin

  Country, Adventure, Thinking

• Why should it be illegal to sell something that's perfectly legal to give away?

  George Carlin

  Giving, Should, Illegal

  Song: Feminist Blowjob, Album: Parental Advisory: Explicit Lyrics

• Before they give you a lethal injection, they swab your arm with alcohol. It's true. Well, they don't want you to get an infection, and you can see their point. They don't want some guy go to hell and be sick.

  George Carlin

  Giving, Sick, Guy

  George Carlin (2015). “3 x Carlin: An Orgy of George including Brain Droppings, Napalm and Silly Putty, and When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?”, p.310, Hachette UK

• That's basically what the drive is: "I want to be famous, I want to be noticed, and I want to be approved of." That's basically what you're after. "Give me attention, give me applause, give me an audience. A. A. A. Straight As." That's all you're looking for.

  George Carlin

  Giving, Attention, Want

  Fuente: www.avclub.com

• Give now. Somewhere, someone feels crappy. You can help.

  George Carlin

  Humorous, Giving, Helping

  George Carlin (2002). "Napalm & Silly Putty", Hyperion

• I don't understand why prostitution is illegal, Selling is legal, f***ing is legal. So why isn't it legal to sell f***ing? Why should it be illegal to sell something that's legal to give away?

  George Carlin

  Humorous, Giving, Selling

• People who ask "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give me a choice, did ya there buddy?

  George Carlin

  Personas, Dar, Elecciones

• This is a lttle prayer dedicated to the separation of church and state. I guess if they are going to force those kids to pray in schools they might as well have a nice prayer like this: Our Father who art in heaven, and to the republic for which it stands, thy kingdom come, one nation indivisible as in heaven, give us this day as we forgive those who so proudly we hail. Crown thy good into temptation but deliver us from the twilight's last gleaming. Amen and Awomen.

  George Carlin

  Arte, Oración, Padre

• Abraham Maslow decía que la persona plenamente realizada trasciende su grupo local y se identifica con la especie. Pero la elección de Ronald Reagan pudo ser el principio de mi renuncia a mi especie. Porque era absurdo. A día de hoy sigue siendo absurdo. Más que absurda, era aterradora: representaba el ascenso a la supremacía de la oscuridad, el ascenso de la ignorancia.

  George Carlin

  Giving Up, Ignorance, Darkness

• I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond!

  George Carlin

  Art, Cutting, Giving

  George Carlin (2004). “When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?”, Hyperion

• In some hotels they give you a little sewing kit. You know what I do? I sew the towels together. One time I sewed a button on a lampshade. I like to leave a mark.

  George Carlin

  Giving, Together, Buttons

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