Larry the Cable Guy Citas

• Even after the Super Bowl victory of the New Orleans Saints, I have noticed a large number of people implying, with bad jokes, that Cajuns aren't smart. I would like to state for the record that I disagree with that assessment. Anybody that would build a city
  5 feet below sea level in a hurricane zone and fill it with Democrats who can't swim is a genius.

  Larry el chico del cable

  Smart, New Orleans, Assessment

  78 Copiar cita

• I'm happier than a tornado in a trailer park.

  Larry el chico del cable

  Parks, Tornadoes, Funny Redneck

  "FIctional character: Mater (voice)". "Cars" (Video Game), www.imdb.com. 2006.

  39 Copiar cita

• Culpar a las armas de matar gente es como culpar a los lápices de la mala ortografía.

  Larry el chico del cable

  Gun, People, Blame

  88 Copiar cita

• I was madder than a midget with a yo-yo

  Larry el chico del cable

  Enano

  14 Copiar cita

• I had a buddy of mine call up the other day, all upset 'cause he slept with his third cousin. And I'm like, Man, if it upsets you that much, quit countin' them!

  Larry el chico del cable

  Cousin, Men, Upset

  "Larry the Cable Guy: Morning Constitutions". Comedy, www.imdb.com. 2007.

  31 Copiar cita

• El que ríe el último, piensa más despacio.

  Larry el chico del cable

  Thinking, Laughing, Lasts

  37 Copiar cita

• Sometimes you've gotta wreck the truck to get the insurance money to make the payment on the truck.

  Larry el chico del cable

  Wrecks, Sometimes, Truck

  40 Copiar cita

• I'm on the diet where you eat vegetables and drink wine. That's a good diet. I lost 10 pounds and my driver's license.

  Larry el chico del cable

  Wine, Vegetables, Pounds

  26 Copiar cita

• Remember, half the people you know are below average.

  Larry el chico del cable

  Average, People, Hard Work Pays Off

  32 Copiar cita

• Una vez vi un cartel que decía "semana de concienciación sobre las hemorroides" en la consulta del médico. Déjame decirte que si tienes hemorroides, seguro que eres consciente de ello. No necesitas un cartel para decírselo a nadie.

  Larry el chico del cable

  Doctors, Office, Needs

  "Hannity" with Sean Hannity, www.foxnews.com. June 15, 2011.

  35 Copiar cita

• Guns don't kill people, husbands who come home early from work kill people

  Larry el chico del cable

  Husband, Home, Gun

  14 Copiar cita

• You learn a lot though when you have kids, I'll tell you what. Did you know when a baby poops its diapers, you're not supposed to hit him with a rolled-up newspaper?

  Larry el chico del cable

  Funny, Baby, Kids

  30 Copiar cita

• Bought a pair of boots the other day, and they was some silicone gel in there. Big red letters said, "Do not eat." Do they really need that stuff in them boots? Is there really some dude opening a pair of boots goin', "Boy, look at them boots. What the hell? I better eat that. I don't know what the hell that is."

  Larry el chico del cable

  Funny, Boys, Needs

  23 Copiar cita

• I'm saying, come on, the global warming thing? How did the ice melt during the ice ages? Was the dinosaurs driving SUVs around back then?

  Larry el chico del cable

  Ice, Age, Dinosaurs

  "Hannity" with Sean Hannity, www.foxnews.com. June 15, 2011.

  12 Copiar cita

• I am called to love my neighbor, which I do. I can disagree with my neighbor about several things, but I'm not going to hate my neighbor. It's not up to me to hate anybody. It's not up to me to judge anyone. It's up to me to be nice, to be kind and to do everything I can to help somebody.

  Larry el chico del cable

  Hate, Nice, Judging

  Fuente: smashinginterviews.com

  25 Copiar cita

• Our whole wedding cost 180 bucks. Afterward, we re-heated lasagna for everyone and set off fireworks.

  Larry el chico del cable

  Cost, Bucks, Fireworks

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  17 Copiar cita

• If guns kill people, I can blame misspelled words on my pencil.

  Larry el chico del cable

  Gun, People, Blame

  "Git-R-Done". Stand-up Comedy Album, 2003.

  11 Copiar cita

• I have thick skin. I'm not a baby. Nothing really offends me. If there's something I think might offend me, I don't listen to it.

  Larry el chico del cable

  Baby, Thinking, Skins

  Fuente: smashinginterviews.com

  6 Copiar cita

• I disagree with a lot of things, but hey, what a person does is between them and their maker. I can disagree with somebody, and I can still be friends with them.

  Larry el chico del cable

  Doe, Hey, Makers

  Fuente: smashinginterviews.com

  16 Copiar cita

• ME ENCANTA WAL-MART CONSIDERO QUE MIS CHISTES SON MUY JEUVINILLE. COSAS QUE UN NIÑO DE 14 AÑOS SE REIRIA PORQUE ESE ES EL SENTIDO DEL HUMOR QUE TENGO. TODAS LAS COSAS DE LAS QUE HABLO PUEDEN NO SER APROPIADAS PARA GRUPOS RELIGIOSOS, PERO WAL-MART NO ES UNA ESCUELA DOMINICAL. SIEMPRE Y CUANDO NO USE LENGUAJE OFENSIVO Y SOEZ SABIA QUE ESTARIA BIEN. WAL-MART LO CONSIGUE, ES POR ESO QUE SOPLAN LEJOS DE LA COMPETENCIA. ADEMAS ES SU TIENDA PUEDEN HACER LO QUE QUIERAN. ¡ESO ES AMERICA BABY!

  Larry el chico del cable

  Baby, School, Sunday

  Fuente: www.dead-frog.com

  18 Copiar cita

• There's the old joke, "What's the difference between country and redneck? Well, that's three hundred dollars."

  Larry el chico del cable

  Country, Redneck, Differences

  Fuente: smashinginterviews.com

  10 Copiar cita

• THE ONLY GOOD THING IS MY FANS LIKE ME AND COME TO SEE ME AND THATS ALL THAT MATTERS. EVERYBODY ELSE CAN KISS MY ASS. IF THEY DONT LIKE MY POLITICAL INCORRECTNESS THEN THEY CAN KEEP THEIR UPTIGHT P C ASS AWAY FROM MY SHOW. ITS THAT EASY.

  Larry el chico del cable

  Kissing, Political, Fans

  Fuente: www.dead-frog.com

  14 Copiar cita

• I can have different opinions with anybody. I can still be a friend with that person.

  Larry el chico del cable

  Different, Opinion, Persons

  Fuente: smashinginterviews.com

  4 Copiar cita

• I can't live without it. I'm on HuskerPedia™ every day.

  Larry el chico del cable

  Puedo

  4 Copiar cita

• Me gusta la caza, pero si tuviera que elegir entre cazar ciervos o pescar lubinas, elegiría la pesca de lubinas cualquier día de la semana. Me gustan las dos cosas, pero sí, soy un tipo muy aficionado a la naturaleza.

  Larry el chico del cable

  Hunting, Fishing, Choices

  Fuente: smashinginterviews.com

  16 Copiar cita

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