Jim Benton Quotes

• Las preciosas del mundo pueden parecer bastante intimidantes cuando fruncen el ceño. Imagina un cisne blanco como la nieve con un tatuaje terrorífico sujetando una motosierra. No hay forma de prepararse para eso.

  Jim Benton

  Tattoo, Swans, White

  Jim Benton (2013). “Dear Dumb Diary #11: Okay, So Maybe I Do Have Superpowers”, p.53, Scholastic

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• School prepares you for the real world... which also bites.

  Jim Benton

  Real, School, World

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• Los deberes indican claramente que los profesores no están haciendo bien su trabajo durante la jornada escolar. No es que te dejen traer las cosas de casa a la escuela y trabajarlas allí. No puedes decir: 'No terminé de dormir en casa, así que tengo que trabajar para terminar de dormir aquí'.

  Jim Benton

  Teacher, Jobs, Home

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• Kissing the frog to get the prince is a waste of a perfectly good frog.

  Jim Benton

  Kissing, Perfectly Good, Frogs

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• Things Isabella Wouldn't Care About: - Titanic sinking again. - Metror striking Earth and landing directly on top of world's most innocent panda. - Titanic sinking again and this time the entire crew is puppies.

  Jim Benton

  Pandas, World, Earth

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• Cómo ganan dinero los superhéroes: - Spiderman teje jerséis. - Superman atornilla las tapas de los botes de pepinillos. - Iron Man, como cabría sospechar, sólo plancha.

  Jim Benton

  Men, Iron, Sweaters

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• My pants cut the cheese. Let one fly. Baked a batch of brownies.

  Jim Benton

  Cutting, Pants, Cheese

  Jim Benton (2013). “Dear Dumb Diary #2: My Pants Are Haunted”, p.70, Scholastic Inc.

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• Ant 1: So, uh, do you ever worry that your itsy little neck is just going to snap under the weight of your head? Ant 2: Stop asking me that. You ask me that, like, every five minutes. Ant 1: Sometimes I notice my antennae out of the corner of my eye and I'm all, like: AHH! Something is on me! Get it off! Get it off! Ant 2: Yeah, the antennae again. Listen, I just remembered, I have to go walk around aimlessly now.

  Jim Benton

  Eye, Worry, Ants

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• I had the great idea of using markers to gently color the ants so I could tell them apart, but I learned that this is exactly like somebody trying to gently color on you with a thirty-story building. Without dwelling on the tragedy, I'd just like to say that I'm deeply sorry to Mr. Purple and the surviving Purple family.

  Jim Benton

  Sorry, Color, Ideas

  Jim Benton (2013). “Dear Dumb Diary #11: Okay, So Maybe I Do Have Superpowers”, p.56, Scholastic

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• Love makes the world go 'round but I'm pretty sure money has to do with it, too.

  Jim Benton

  Mundo, Rondas

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• never underestimate your dumbness!!

  Jim Benton

  Underestimate, Dumbness, Never Underestimate

  Jim Benton (2016). “Můj milý deníčku – To mi hlava nebere!”, p.5, Fragment, Albatros Media a.s.

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• Buy me stuff and I'll be nicer

  Jim Benton

  Cosas

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• The Destructive Arts are exactly like Martial Arts, except they don't have uniforms or usefulness and the end result doesn't resemble art in any way.

  Jim Benton

  Art, Uniforms, Way

  Jim Benton (2013). “Dear Dumb Diary #11: Okay, So Maybe I Do Have Superpowers”, p.10, Scholastic

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• He giggled like a puppy being tickled by a kitten wearing a duckling costume.

  Jim Benton

  Cute, Costumes, Ducklings

  Jim Benton (2013). “Dear Dumb Diary #11: Okay, So Maybe I Do Have Superpowers”, p.64, Scholastic

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• I can't imagine the scientists wanting me to walk into the lab and start fiddling around with some big bowl of electrons they had out.

  Jim Benton

  Labs, Imagine, Scientist

  Jim Benton (2013). “Dear Dumb Diary #11: Okay, So Maybe I Do Have Superpowers”, p.7, Scholastic

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• This means that I don't have to run faster than the psychotic-maniac-vampire-cannibal, I just have to run faster than whoever is with me when the psychotic-maniac-vampire-cannibal starts chasing us.

  Jim Benton

  Running, Mean, Vampire

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