Maria Bamford Quotes

• If you're ever if you're ever thinking, “Oh, but I'm a waste of space and I'm a burden,” remember: that also describes the Grand Canyon. Why don't you have friends and family take pictures of you from a safe distance? Revel in your majestic profile?

  Maria Bamford

  Inspirational, Family, Distance

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• My therapist says I'm afraid of success. I guess I could understand that, because after all, fulfilling my potential would REALLY cut into my sitting-around time

  Maria Bamford

  Cutting, Sitting, Therapists

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• If you stay alive for no other reason do it for spite

  Maria Bamford

  Alive, Reason, Spite

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• I can't stand makeup commercials. 'Do you need a lipstick that keeps your lips kissable?' No, I need a lipstick that gets me equal pay for equal work. How about an eye shadow that makes me stop thinking I'm too fat?

  Maria Bamford

  Eye, Makeup, Thinking

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• I've never really thought of myself as depressed so much as I am paralyzed by hope.

  Maria Bamford

  Funny, Paralyzed

  "The Now Show", 2006.

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• We’re all doing the best we can and sometimes it is not that good.

  Maria Bamford

  A veces

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• Get out of your house and go see some live performance, for God's sake. There are people creating things just outside your window.

  Maria Bamford

  Fun, Creating Things, People

  "Comedian Maria Bamford on her family" by Jarrett Bellini, www.cnn.com. June 17, 2011.

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• Quiero casarme. Suena genial. Podréis ir juntos a la compra, alquilar vídeos y besaros y abrazaros y besaros y abrazaros bajo las acogedoras mantas. ¡Mmmm! Pero a veces me preocupa no querer casarme tanto como sumergirme en una cuba de masa de pan caliente y creciente. Eso también puede sentar muy bien.

  Maria Bamford

  Relationship, Kissing, Shopping

  "Comedy Central Presents (Maria Bamford)". TV Series, July 2, 2001.

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• No estoy buscando mucho, sólo quiero, como, un tipo realmente agradable que tiene, ya sabes, como un trabajo ... y la mitad que falta de este amuleto de oro.

  Maria Bamford

  Jobs, Nice, Guy

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• Thirty ways to shape up for summer. Number one: eat less. Number two: exercise more. Number three: what was I talking about again? I'm so hungry.

  Maria Bamford

  Inspiración, Divertido, Verano

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• Even if you're disgusting, and everyone is creeped out by you and thinks you're gross, you know, keep doing what you love!

  Maria Bamford

  Thinking, Doing What You Love, Gross

  Fuente: www.avclub.com

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• My mom is very religious and she said, 'Whatever you think about all the time, that's what you worship.' If that's the case I'd like everyone to pop open their Diet Coke cans and turn to page 37 of their People Magazines. In this holy scripture, we read the parable of Ms. Valerie Bertinelli.

  Maria Bamford

  Mom, Religious, Thinking

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• I'm not technically rich, but I do have a lot of s**t that I don't need, that I refuse to share with others.

  Maria Bamford

  Needs, Rich, Share

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• Time flies when you are anxious!

  Maria Bamford

  Time, Time Flies, Anxious

  "Unwanted Thoughts Syndrome". Live album, April 21, 2009.

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• Hago un poco de mindfulness compasivo todos los días. Es como algo budista. Me digo a mí mismo que estoy haciendo un buen trabajo, ese tipo de cosas. Me hace sentir mejor.

  Maria Bamford

  Buddhist, Jobs, Feel Better

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• Younger and younger, our children are seeing the sippy-cup as half empty.

  Maria Bamford

  Children, Half, Cups

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• A veces me preocupa no querer casarme tanto como sumergirme en una cuba de masa de pan caliente y creciente.

  Maria Bamford

  Worry, Rising, Want

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• I find it creatively satisfying to write material and say it out loud in a public place, whether or not anyone's listening.

  Maria Bamford

  Writing, Listening, Loud

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• People get really irritated by mental illness.

  Maria Bamford

  People, Irritated, Mental Illness

  "Stand-up Comedy and Mental Illness: A Conversation with Maria Bamford". Interview with David Haglund, www.slate.com. May 10, 2012.

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• Schizophrenia is hearing voices, not doing voices.

  Maria Bamford

  Voice, Hearing, Schizophrenia

  "Stand-up Comedy and Mental Illness: A Conversation with Maria Bamford". Interview with David Haglund, www.slate.com. May 10, 2012.

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• I feel bad about that, that I worship celebrities... but their moods create weather.

  Maria Bamford

  Weather, Worship, Mood

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• I express things through characters because I have a fear that my own voice is irritating because thats been said to me.

  Maria Bamford

  Character, Voice, Said

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• I would've been able to write anything about mental-health crises had I not felt good.

  Maria Bamford

  Writing, Crisis

  Fuente: www.avclub.com

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• I have trouble watching singers because they are so sincere.

  Maria Bamford

  Singers, Trouble, Sincere

  Interview with Jane Borden, www.timeout.com. June 18, 2009.

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• Here's the Middle East. Here's the mosque, here's the church, open the temple, everybody's MAD!

  Maria Bamford

  Mad, Church, Middle East

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