Scott Wood Quotes

• When it came to spankings, my dad never used a belt. One time he grabbed a piece of my Hot Wheels race car track. In my mind I'm thinking, 'Great, now I'm being beaten with my own toys...' Thank God I didn't get that wood burning set I wanted.

  Scott Wood

  Dad, Thinking, Race

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• I just recently had my Visa card stolen. Right now, it's everywhere I want to be.

  Scott Wood

  Want, Cards, Stolen

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• I hate waking up every morning to my alarm. I always bang my head on the steering wheel.

  Scott Wood

  Morning, Hate, Bangs

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• The Heimlich maneuver works on house pets. My pit bull was choking on his dinner. I squeezed his stomach and the neighbor's cat shot right out.

  Scott Wood

  Funny, Dog, Cat

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• I joined a health spa recently. They had a sign for "Free Weights." So I took a couple.

  Scott Wood

  Couple, Exercise, Dieting

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