Citas de David Letterman

• Dicen que hay unos 12 millones de inmigrantes ilegales en este país. Pero si le preguntas a un nativo americano, esa cifra es más bien de 300 millones.

  David Letterman

  Country, Native American, Numbers

  62 Copiar cita

• Last Halloween I ran out of candy and I had to give the kids nicotine gum.

  David Letterman

  Halloween, Kids, Giving

  5 Copiar cita

• BP ha puesto más pájaros en el petróleo que el Coronel Sanders.

  David Letterman

  Oil, Bird, Oil Spill

  24 Copiar cita

• Estados Unidos es el único país en el que una proporción significativa de la población cree que la lucha libre profesional es real pero que la llegada a la luna fue falsa.

  David Letterman

  Inspirational, Country, Witty

  39 Copiar cita

• You've got to be careful smoking weed. It causes memory loss. And also, it causes memory loss.

  David Letterman

  Weed, Memories, Loss

  7 Copiar cita

• Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television.

  David Letterman

  Funny, Sarcastic, Purpose

  36 Copiar cita

• El 4 th Of July combina las dos cosas que más gustan a los estadounidenses en un solo día: alcohol y explosivos.

  David Letterman

  4 th Of July, Dos, Alcohol

  28 Copiar cita

• It's autumn in New York. The colors are changing — yellow, the browns, the greens, the oranges. And that's just the tap water.

  David Letterman

  New York, Autumn, Color

  4 Copiar cita

• Estaba de compras navideñas y me encontré con un tipo por la calle. Me fijé en su reloj y le dije que iba lento. Me contestó: "Igual que el tipo al que se lo robé".

  David Letterman

  Christmas, Running, Shopping

  57 Copiar cita

• I have found that the only thing that does bring you happiness is doing something good for somebody who is incapable of doing it for themselves.

  David Letterman

  Doe, Found, Incapable

  9 Copiar cita

• Don't use your bedroom for work, unless you're a prostitute.

  David Letterman

  Use, Bedroom

  5 Copiar cita

• You know what I love best about baseball? The pine tar, the resin, the grass, the dirt - and that's just in the hot-dogs.

  David Letterman

  Baseball, Dog, Love Is

  4 Copiar cita

• Gays are now allowed to serve openly in the military. So maybe our next war could be a musical.

  David Letterman

  Military, War, Gay

  4 Copiar cita

• I'm an environmentalist. Most of my jokes are recycled.

  David Letterman

  Environmentalist, Recycled, Jokes

  4 Copiar cita

• You'll never catch a nudist with his pants down.

  David Letterman

  Nudists, Pants

  29 Copiar cita

• El Primer Ministro japonés ha pedido perdón por la participación de Japón en la Segunda Guerra Mundial. Sin embargo, aún no ha mencionado nada sobre el karaoke.

  David Letterman

  War, Japan, World

  20 Copiar cita

• USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every four people make up 75% of the population.

  David Letterman

  Funny, Math, Science

  10 Copiar cita

• The Catholic Church has a tough new policy on child molestors: three strikes and you're a cardinal.

  David Letterman

  Children, Catholic, Church

  9 Copiar cita

• People say New Yorkers can't get along. Not true. I saw two New Yorkers, complete strangers, sharing a cab. One guy took the tires and the radio; the other guy took the engine.

  David Letterman

  Inspiración, Dos, Personas

  19 Copiar cita

• Number one way life would be different if dogs ran the world: All motorists must drive with head out window.

  David Letterman

  Funny, Dog, Travel

  10 Copiar cita

• I feel like Bush presidencies are like "Godfather" films. You should stop at two.

  David Letterman

  Two, Film, Should

  56 Copiar cita

• If it wasn't for coffee, I'd have no discernible personality at all.

  David Letterman

  Coffee, Personality, Ifs

  13 Copiar cita

• There is no off position on the genius switch.

  David Letterman

  Genius, Comedy, Position

  "Late Show with David Letterman", www.imdb.com. 1993 - 2015.

  25 Copiar cita

• Two things you need to know about taxes. They've extended the deadline to April 18, and when you write your check, just make it out to China.

  David Letterman

  Writing, Two, Needs

  13 Copiar cita

• Donald Trump is attacking President Obama's background. And I said, 'Wait a minute, Trump also is from a mixed background. He's half jack and half ass.'

  David Letterman

  Waiting, President, Half

  23 Copiar cita

También te puede gustar:

Jay Leno

Johnny Carson

Conan O'Brien

Stephen Colbert

Jimmy Fallon

Jon Stewart

Bill Murray

Craig Ferguson