Pearly Gates Quotes

• Si el cielo existe, ¿qué le gustaría oír decir a Dios cuando llegue a las Puertas del Paraíso?

  James Lipton

  Heaven, Gates, Ifs

  "Inside the Actors Studio". www.imdb.com. 1994.

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• The Pearly Gates. Am I the only one who finds it odd that Heaven has gates? What kind of neighborhood is Heaven in?

  Jim Gaffigan

  Heaven, Kind, Odd

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• Los reyes de los terrores, el último enemigo, ¡nunca podrán franquear las puertas del cielo y perturbar la dicha del cielo! Se acabaron las vigilias en el lecho de muerte y los funerales. El coche fúnebre habrá hecho su último viaje.

  J. Oswald Sanders

  Reyes, Viaje, Funeral

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• The truth is that we are saved by grace only after all we ourselves can do. (See 2 Ne. 25:23.) There will be no government dole which can get us through the pearly gates. Nor will anybody go into the celestial kingdom who wants to go there on the works of someone else. Every man must go through on his own merits. We might just as well learn this here and now.

  Marion G. Romney

  Men, Grace, Want

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• When I get "too busy" to pray, I envision Jesus at the Pearly Gates showing me the time I wasted looking for something to watch on Netflix.

  Mark Hart

  Jesus, Netflix, Watches

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• Really, just looking around, you feel a twinge of pity for the poor souls who succeeded in getting past the Pearly Gates. One can't help but picture the lackluster VIP lounge in Heaven, a kind of nonalcoholic ice-cream social starring Harriet Beecher Stowe and Mahatma Gandhi. Hardly anyone's idea of a "with-it" social register.

  Chuck Palahniuk

  Past, Ice Cream, Ideas

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• Whatever happens when we die, it would be really weird if it was what we had expected. Even if you were a lifelong Christian believer, it would be kind of weird if there actually were pearly gates.

  George Saunders

  Christian, Would Be, Be Kind

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• If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates? Oh, you know something? I'm so far away from believing that it exists, and the only thing I know are jokes about it.

  Donald Sutherland

  Believe, Heaven, Far Away

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• This is what I say to the most conservative person that's so terrified of gay marriage becoming legal. Just because the state says it's legal, it's not like God's going to let them into Heaven. So you can still sleep sound every night knowing that goal line defense is up at the pearly gates.

  Daniel Tosh

  Sleep, Gay, Night

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• Ya me lo imagino: Osama bin Laden sube a las puertas del cielo de donde sale George Washington, empieza a golpearle y luego se le unen otros 70 miembros del Congreso Continental. Osama dirá: ¡Eh, espera! ¿Dónde están mis 71 vírgenes? Y George responderá ¡Son 71 virginianas, gilipollas!

  Robin Williams

  Waiting, Hey, Osama Bin Laden

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• Es una delgada línea entre el papel y el odio,
  Amigos y serpientes, nueve milis y treinta y ocho,
  Infierno o las puertas del cielo... Estaba destinado a venir,
  Predicho, culpa a Dios, Él sopló aliento en mis pulmones.

  Nas

  Hate, Rap, Snakes

  Song: Hate Me Now, Album: I Am..., 1999

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• It often occurs to me that if, against all odds, there is a judgmental God and heaven, it will come to pass that when the pearly gates open, those who had the valor to think for themselves will be escorted to the head of the line, garlanded, and given their own personal audience.

  E. O. Wilson

  Thinking, Odds, Heaven

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• I'm sad. Pressed down by sorrow. I'm angry. Pissed at God, if there is one, and the way things are. I'm scared. Confused by the whys. Why are we here? Is there, really, some intelligent design? Why do we cry for someone who leaves us if there's some Grand Pearly Gate in the sky? Why worry about how we build our lives if the ultimate ending for all is death, a single breath away? (358)

  Ellen Hopkins

  Confused, Intelligent, Sky

  Ellen Hopkins (2012). “Tilt”, p.358, Simon and Schuster

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• Su madre le había dicho que cuando mirabas a los ojos de Dios a las puertas del cielo, todas las preguntas que te habías hecho quedaban respondidas. Ronan tenía muchas preguntas. Despertar a Glendower podría ser así. Menos ángeles asistiendo, y tal vez un acento galés más pesado. Un poco menos de juicio.

  Maggie Stiefvater

  Mother, Eye, Angel

  Maggie Stiefvater (2013). "The Dream Thieves (The Raven Cycle, Book 2)", p.24, Scholastic Inc.

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• If you go through the pearly gates backwards in a fireball, that's a cool way to die!

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Way, Backwards, Gates

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• He estado en las puertas del cielo, me enviaron de vuelta dijo que los buenos mueren jóvenes yo no soy elegible para eso

  Curtis Jackson

  Rap, Hecho, Dicho

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• Cuando esté ante las Puertas del Paraíso, quiero decirle a Dios: 'No mires los discos. Mira a mi familia. Estoy mucho más orgulloso de esa parte'.

  John Fogerty

  Inspirational, Looks, Records

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• Even a band of angels can turn ugly and start looting if enough angels are unemployed and hanging around the Pearly Gates convinced that all the succubi own all the liquor stores in Heaven.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Angel, Heaven, Liquor Stores

  P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government”, p.194, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

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• I envy the people who say, 'oh, well, I've got my name in the golden book and I'm going to be entered into the pearly gates.'

  William Shatner

  Book, Names, People

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