Jim Gaffigan Quotes About School

• Holidays are also an opportunity for kids to unlearn every good habit they've learned during the rest of the year. They don't go to school. They get to stay up past their bedtime. They get candy and presents for doing nothing. Childhood utopia.

  Jim Gaffigan

  School, Holiday, Kids

  Jim Gaffigan (2013). “Dad Is Fat”, p.222, Crown Archetype

• Wouldn't it have been weird to go to high school with the Pope? You know, somebody did, someone's sitting at home, watching TV in Poland, they see the Pope, they think, "That guy was a jerk! He was so mean to me and now he's Pope? I got a swirly from the Pope!"

  Jim Gaffigan

  Funny, Home, School

• ¿Alguna vez ha comprado un libro y no lo ha leído? Te sientes casi culpable por tenerlo en una estantería. La gente dice: "Oye, ¿cómo es ese libro?" "No lo he leído." "Oh, ¿acabas de comprarlo?" "Lo tengo desde el instituto." "Bueno, ¿me lo prestas?" "No."

  Jim Gaffigan

  Funny, Book, School

• Nursery schools and bars at 2 a.m. are the only places where it is completely normal if someone just spontaneously throws up on the floor...and just like a toddler, the bar patron wakes up the next day not remembering or caring how they behaved.

  Jim Gaffigan

  School, Caring, Next Day

• Steakhouses sort of have this old-school nature to them; they're like museums full of good food. It's fun hearing the waiter share his expertise on the different cuts of beef and how they're going to cut up your baked potato.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Fun, School, Cutting

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