Marya Hornbacher Quotes - Page 4

• Cuando terminaba un libro, me sentía perpetuamente desconsolada, me deslizaba desde mi posición sentada en la cama, apoyaba la mejilla en la almohada y suspiraba durante largo rato. Parecía que nunca habría otro libro. Todo había terminado, el libro estaba muerto. Yacía en su cubierta doblada junto a mi mano. ¿De qué servía? ¿Para qué molestarme en arrastrar el peso de mi pequeño cuerpo hasta la cena? ¿Para qué moverme? ¿Para qué respirar? El libro me había abandonado y no había razón para seguir.

  Marya Hornbacher

  Grief, Moving, Book

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• Anorexia and bulimia seem to be getting much more common in boys, men, and women of all ages and socioeconomic backgrounds; they are also becoming more common in racial groups previously thought to be impervious to the problem.

  Marya Hornbacher

  Boys, Men, Anorexia

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• Hospitalizations in general are blurry. The days are the same, precisely the same. Nothing changes. Life melts down to a simple progression of meals. They become a way of life fairly quickly. You may welcome this transition. It may seem inevitable to you. You have been removed from the world. It is all right, in a way, because there is nothing so sure, so safe, as routine.

  Marya Hornbacher

  Life Changing, Simple, Transition

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• • This seems impossible to me. It seems biologically impossible to stay the same size, although I must. It seems one must always be either bigger or smaller than they were at some arbitrary point in time to which all things are compared. The panties that are possibly tighter than they were. When? You can't say when. But you are absolutely positive no question that it's true.

  Marya Hornbacher

  Arbitrary, Size, Impossible

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• We know we need, and so we acquire and eat and eat, past the point of bodily fullness, trying to sate a greater need. Ashamed of this, we turn skeletons into goddesses and look to them as if they might teach us how to not-need.

  Marya Hornbacher

  Past, Skeletons, Trying

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• So many means of self-destruction, so little time.

  Marya Hornbacher

  Mean, Self, Littles

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• I began to measure things in absence instead of presence.

  Marya Hornbacher

  Ausencia

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• Si tuviera que ponerme en... una de esas cosas de citas en línea, no incluiría en mi perfil que estoy hospitalizada regularmente por psicosis. Pero sé que cuando estoy realmente mal, hay un lugar donde puedo ir y sentirme mejor.

  Marya Hornbacher

  Feel Better, Psychosis, Dating

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• My students know I have a life, they know I've written about my life. They know some detail, probably more than they know about their physics teacher, but I would've told them anyway!

  Marya Hornbacher

  Teacher, Details, Students

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• Children take in more information than we'd like to believe.

  Marya Hornbacher

  Children, Believe, Information

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• ...Someone speaks in soft tones to me and says I am psychotic, but it's going to be all right. I put on my hat, unperturbed, and ask for some crayons.

  Marya Hornbacher

  Tone, Hats, Speak

  Marya Hornbacher (2009). “Madness: A Bipolar Life”, p.73, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

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• I'm a driven perfectionist, very self-critical.

  Marya Hornbacher

  Self, Perfectionist, Driven

  "At War With Her Body / Author Marya Hornbacher chronicles unending struggle with eating disorders". Interview with Sylvia Rubin, www.sfgate.com. January 29, 1998.

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• In our absence, the violet early evening light pours in the bay window, filling the still room like water poured into a glass. The glass is delicate. The thin, tight surface of the liquid light trembles. But it does not break. Time does not pass. Not yet.

  Marya Hornbacher

  Evening Light, Glasses, Water

  Marya Hornbacher (2009). “Madness: A Bipolar Life”, p.99, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

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• For me, the first sign of oncoming madness is that I'm unable to write.

  Marya Hornbacher

  Writing, Firsts, Madness

  Marya Hornbacher (2008). “Madness: A Bipolar Life”, p.286, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

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• You can't teach an ear, you can't teach talent, but you can teach people who have those things not to just fly by the seat of their pants.

  Marya Hornbacher

  People, Ears, Pants

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• Hatred is so much closer to love than indifference.

  Marya Hornbacher

  Hatred, Indifference

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• The madness is there, and will always be there. But it will keep sleeping, as long as I don't wake it up.

  Marya Hornbacher

  Sleep, Long, Madness

  Marya Hornbacher (2009). “Madness: A Bipolar Life”, p.154, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

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• We were at another funeral party. I wasn’t sure who had died this time, but it was a suicide, and upsetting because it was completely out of season. No on killed themselves in summertime. It was rude.

  Marya Hornbacher

  Suicide, Party, Funeral

  Marya Hornbacher (2009). “The Center of Winter: A Novel”, p.7, Harper Collins

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• And it's California, where everything is powerfully strange. Everyone wants it to be home. Everyone left where he or she was from with dreams of transformation. Everyone runs away to California at least once, or at least all the lonely, hungry people do.

  Marya Hornbacher

  Running, Dream, Lonely

  Marya Hornbacher (2009). “Madness: A Bipolar Life”, p.99, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

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• He leaned down and whispered to me: No matter how thin you get, no matter how short you cut your hair, it's still going to be you underneath. And he let go of my arm and walked back down the hall.

  Marya Hornbacher

  Letting Go, Cutting, Hair

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• That nothing - not booze, not love, not sex, not work, not moving from state to state - will make the past disappear.

  Marya Hornbacher

  Sex, Moving, Past

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• I have a remarkable ability to delete all better judgement from my brain when I get my head set on something. I have no sense of moderation, no sense of caution. I have no sense pretty much.

  Marya Hornbacher

  Judgement, Brain, Moderation

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• Me and my needs were driving my mother away. Me and my needs retreated to my closet, disappeared into fairy tales. I started making up a world where my needs wouldn´t exist at all.

  Marya Hornbacher

  Mother, World, Needs

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• I am feeling fine. I remember these words and recite them. These are the things you say when asked how you are. After all, it would be odd to say: I'm not feeling. Or, more to the point: I'm not, I have ceased to be. Where am I?

  Marya Hornbacher

  Numbness, Feelings, Would Be

  Marya Hornbacher (2009). “Madness: A Bipolar Life”, p.198, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

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• I had a love affair with books, with characters and their words. Books kept me company. When the voices of the book faded, as with the last long chord of a record, the back cover crinkling closed, I could swear I heard a door click shut.

  Marya Hornbacher

  Book, Character, Voice

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