Artie Lange Quotes

• Whiskey will always be a part of my life.

  Artie Lange

  Whisky

  47 Copiar cita

• I've never been swimming, and that's because it's never been more than half an hour since I last ate.

  Artie Lange

  Swimming, Half, Lasts

  17 Copiar cita

• Hugs are great, but - better than drugs? Come on. Let me put it to you this way: I never drove to Harlem at 4 a.m. to get somebody to hug me.

  Artie Lange

  Drug, Hug, Way

  15 Copiar cita

• A-Rod quiere ser como Babe Ruth. Y la gente no se da cuenta de esto, se parece mucho a Babe Ruth. Hace un par de años, antes de los playoffs, A-Rod fue al hospital y le prometió a un niño moribundo que batearía a segunda por él.

  Artie Lange

  Sports, Baseball, Couple

  19 Copiar cita

• Don't do drugs to be cool, do 'em because you hate yourself.

  Artie Lange

  Hate, Drug, Ems

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  18 Copiar cita

• I'm the type of guy where one thing leads to another and eventually it gets awful. If I put a $5 bet on a roulette table tonight at 10 o'clock, by tomorrow at noon I would be running guns to Cuba.

  Artie Lange

  Running, Gun, Gambling

  16 Copiar cita

• The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.

  Artie Lange

  Drinking, Sometimes, Drink

  19 Copiar cita

• My mother would say, before I left the house, 'Remember Art, hugs are better than drugs.' And I believed my mother, I believed everything she said - until the first time I got high at a party. I leaned back, and I went, 'God, this is way better than when my Uncle Perry hugs me. What else has my mother been lying to me about?

  Artie Lange

  Mother, Art, Uncles

  15 Copiar cita

• En el Mirage Sportsbook, usted puede conseguir una línea en 2 niño jugando wiffleball en el patio trasero en Minnesota

  Artie Lange

  Kids, Gambling, Mirages

  16 Copiar cita

• If Mike Tyson was the voice of your GPS, would you ever not use it?

  Artie Lange

  Gps, Voice, Use

  Twitter post from Nov 17, 2012

  19 Copiar cita

• It's not a drug problem, until you run out of money. Until then it's just drugs.

  Artie Lange

  Running, Drug, Problem

  4 Copiar cita

• Las Vegas significa comedia, tragedia, felicidad y tristeza al mismo tiempo.

  Artie Lange

  Sad, Mean, Vegas

  20 Copiar cita

• I have gay friends, I support gay rights, I have nothing against the gay community, but when I see two guys kissing, I think it's gross. And, by the way, it's gross when 99% of straight people do it, too.

  Artie Lange

  Gay, Kissing, Thinking

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

  10 Copiar cita

• I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's a joke.

  Artie Lange

  Apologizing, Jokes, Ifs

  Interview With Steve Heisler, tv.avclub.com. January 7, 2010.

  12 Copiar cita

• For a degenerate like me, Vegas is like a walk down memory lane. Last time I went to Vegas, I went to my old coke dealer's kid's bar mitzvah.

  Artie Lange

  Memories, Kids, Vegas

  11 Copiar cita

• If you are a black woman, you get two history months in a row.

  Artie Lange

  Two, Black, Months

  5 Copiar cita

• I'm very resilient. The only thing I'm missing right now are abs.

  Artie Lange

  Missing, Resilient, Right Now

  9 Copiar cita

• The only reason I can't recommend heroin to kids is because the effects wear off.

  Artie Lange

  Kids, Reason, Heroin

  10 Copiar cita

• When you did impressions on 'MADtv,' the producers gave you a Walkman that played huge sections of whatever movie was being parodied, with your character's catchphrases recorded on a loop. You'd wear this thing around during rehearsals and for a week listen to the voice you had to impersonate over and over again. It drove all of us crazy.

  Artie Lange

  Crazy, Character, Voice

  Artie Lange, Anthony Bozza (2008). “Too Fat to Fish”, p.147, Spiegel & Grau

  11 Copiar cita

• But I live an interesting life and I can tell a pretty good story and it has helped my career. But the downside is people know everything.

  Artie Lange

  Careers, People, Interesting

  7 Copiar cita

• I want to see Toby Maguire fight Christian Bale.

  Artie Lange

  Christian, Fighting, Toby

  8 Copiar cita

• Un fin de semana en Las Vegas sin jugar ni beber es como ser un cristiano renacido.

  Artie Lange

  Christian, Drinking, Weekend

  8 Copiar cita

• When political correctness first started coming around, it ruined Andrew Dice Clay and Eddie Murphy's stand-up career. Sam Kinison died at just the right time, 'cause no one was going to tolerate what he was saying anymore either.

  Artie Lange

  Careers, Political, Clay

  Interview with Steve Heisler, www.avclub.com. January 7, 2010.

  4 Copiar cita

• I snorted heroin once by accident. It was amazing. But kids, don't snort heroin. It's too good.

  Artie Lange

  Kids, Heroin, Accidents

  8 Copiar cita

• When you're on the road a lot, you're in perpetual search of a good night's sleep.

  Artie Lange

  Good Night, Sleep, Night

  8 Copiar cita

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