Dane Cook Quotes - Page 2

• I once overheard the sweetest old woman behind me on a train tell her adorable old husband as he scoffed down a ham sandwich she had brought along, "If you ever yell at me to "stop bringing a ham sandwich with me every where we go" again? Next time I'm bringing a gun. And I'm blowing your God damn head off."

  Dane Cook

  Husband, Gun, Adorable

  "Dane Cook, Global Flavor". Interview Magazine Interview, www.interviewmagazine.com. May 5, 2009.

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• Start each day out the holy way..with Christ Chex, it's a miracle in a bowl. Just open the box and you hear AHHHHH....and then a lil' angel flies out and says 'good morning, life is beautiful!'.

  Dane Cook

  Beautiful, Morning, Angel

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• Me interesa hacer todo lo que pueda para exprimir la creatividad de mi cerebro. Supongo que soy una especie de rata de las actuaciones, eso es lo que quiero hacer, me encanta estar en el escenario si no estoy en un plató. Me encanta poner creatividad en una actuación.

  Dane Cook

  Creativity, Love Is, Brain

  Fuente: movieweb.com

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• I have faith in all mankind. Well,not faith really, more like hopeful suspicion. And not "all" but 5 people. Mankind meaning computers.

  Dane Cook

  People, Hopeful, Have Faith

  FaceBook post by Dane Cook from Mar 25, 2011

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• Puedo oler la mierda a una milla de distancia, pero es mucho más difícil de detectar cuando está a tu alrededor todo el día.

  Dane Cook

  Smell, Bullshit, Miles

  FaceBook post by Dane Cook from Sep 04, 2014

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• When a guy says "I have no idea what you're talking about" it means "I'm thinking of exactly what you're saying I did while I lie to you."

  Dane Cook

  Mentir, Mal, Pensar

  Twitter post from Aug 3, 2013

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• I'm going to hell, ah... but you're laughing, so you're coming.

  Dane Cook

  Laughing, Hell

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• I was very good at kickball ... I was wonderful at ah doing that kick and your leg goes up and your shoe went on top of the school

  Dane Cook

  School, Shoes, Legs

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• My grandmother died of natural causes. Or as my family calls it murdered by the lord.

  Dane Cook

  Grandmother, Causes, My Family

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• I'm in a new club, by the way. And I don't know if you're first timers like I am, but I'm in the 'I Just Dropped My Cell Phone In My Own Piss' Club. Have you done that? Yeah, good times. I'm on the phone and I forget that I'm using shoulder technique. Urinals were taken so I went in to use the regular john. And as I'm standing there, mid-conversation, I'm like 'Are you serious?' and it just started to toboggan right down my powerful chest.

  Dane Cook

  Powerful, Taken, Cells

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• If you're 1 of the 3 girls in pics with a greaseball whose arms are around you at a club you lose at life. If you're the greaseball you win.

  Dane Cook

  Girl, Winning, Clubs

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• I can't relate to the idea of suicide. I guess I'm just one of those people that is always optimistic and upbeat. But one day, I sat down. I said 'You know what? Just to kind of purge myself, I want to see what its like to feel that low'. So I decided to write a suicide note. Yeah, just to kinda flush it out there and put it on a page. And I started to do this, and I had an epiphany. I'll share this with you: a suicide note that is written by somebody that is not suicidal is called an autobiography. I am on Chapter 58.

  Dane Cook

  Suicide, Optimistic, Suicidal

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• I won't take no for a question.

  Dane Cook

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• Sabes que eres un vago cuando te quedas sin papel higiénico y utilizas el rollo de cartón para limpiarte.

  Dane Cook

  Running, Lazy, Use

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• Sometimes the only solution is figuring out a bigger problem to focus on.

  Dane Cook

  Focus, Sometimes, Problem

  Twitter post from Aug 14, 2013

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• If you're drunk please don't drive. If you're on shrooms please don't think Walmart's a prison for bad clothing that needs help escaping.

  Dane Cook

  Thinking, Escaping, Drunk

  Twitter post from Jul 19, 2013

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• I miss dating only for that final moment you kiss goodnight, watch her get out of your car and run into the police station.

  Dane Cook

  Running, Kissing, Dating

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• My favorite sexual position is when the girl is facing Mecca and I am fighting off a wolf.

  Dane Cook

  Girl, Fighting, Mecca

  Twitter post from Jul 27, 2013

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• People know I have a good time on stage. I love my life. I love my job.

  Dane Cook

  Jobs, People, Love Of My Life

  "INTERVIEW: Dane Cook Knows Earl's Dirty Little Secret in Mr. Brooks!". Interview with Alan Orange, movieweb.com. May 24, 2007.

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• I'm curious by individuals that embrace half a story so they can justify how incomplete they feel about their own self worth.

  Dane Cook

  Self Worth, Stories, Half

  Twitter post from Jun 9, 2013

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• I am an observer, I like to watch people. I am into psychology and people - how they act and such.

  Dane Cook

  People, Psychology, Watches

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• Vi a un niño comiendo un cono de helado, ... Se lo rompí en la cara. Sabes que ese niño se va a acordar de mí cuando tenga 50 años.

  Dane Cook

  Divertido, Niños, Chicos

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• Jim Norton and Harland Williams always make me laugh.

  Dane Cook

  Laughing, Make Me Laugh

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• I found someones passport on the ground tonight. Where do you sell these things?

  Dane Cook

  Found Someone, Tonight, Passports

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• Me encanta cantar con la radio mientras voy en la parte trasera de un coche patrulla.

  Dane Cook

  Squad, Car, Singing

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