Craig Ferguson Quotes About Today

• It's Earth Day today. Let me tell you something about polar bears. They're endangered but you have to be careful because a polar bear is one of the few animals that will stalk a human. If you go to where polar bears live, it might stalk you and when you're on the plane going home, it might be behind you reading.

  Craig Ferguson

  Reading, Home, Animal

• Everything went smoothly at the sailing events today, except for the British team. They forgot to bring limes and they all got scurvy.

  Craig Ferguson

  Funny, Team, London Olympics

• Today Monopoly added a new game piece: the cat. The new piece was chosen after weeks of online voting. Is that a surprise? Whenever there's a vote for something on the Internet, the cat always wins.

  Craig Ferguson

  Cat, Winning, Games

• Jeb Bush announced today on the Internet that he may run for president. The next presidential election could be Bush vs. Clinton. It will be like 1992 all over again except I won't be in rehab.

  Craig Ferguson

  Running, Presidential, May

• Wikipedia celebrates its 12th birthday today. Of course, I have no idea if it's true. I read it on Wikipedia.

  Craig Ferguson

  Ideas, Wikipedia, Today

• Today Prince William went to Washington, D.C., and he met with President Obama. He said, 'It feels weird being in the White House because I'm not an American.' And then Prince William said, 'Yeah, me too.'

  Craig Ferguson

  Blanco, Casa, Presidente

• I salute Rick Perry for the way he's trying to overcome this. Today he came out and said he's not one of those slick politicians, that this just shows his human side, and some third excuse he can't remember.

  Craig Ferguson

  Trying, Sides, Overcoming

• Hoy se estrena Guerra Mundial Z. La gran película de zombis. El tráiler parece aterrador. Se ven hordas de cuerpos trepando y rodando unos sobre otros. Es como el Viernes Negro en el centro comercial.

  Craig Ferguson

  Friday, War, Climbing

• Va a haber un nuevo canal de televisión por cable para perros. Los perros ni siquiera ven la televisión. Pero la programación salió hoy. Y tienen grandes programas, como Barks & Recreation y Game of Bones.

  Craig Ferguson

  Dog, Games, Today

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