Demetri Martin Quotes About Comedy

• I keep a lighter in my back pocket all the time. I'm not a smoker, I just really like certain songs.

  Demetri Martin

  Funny, Song, Humor

  "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com.

• It's very easy to turn a toy into an adult toy: Location, location, location.

  Demetri Martin

  Funny, Humor, Adults

  "Demetri Martin. Person". Documentary, Comedy, Music, www.imdb.com. 2007.

• El otro día estaba haciendo tortitas y una mosca entró volando en la cocina. Y entonces me di cuenta de que una espátula se parece mucho a un matamoscas. Y una mosca aplastada se parece mucho a un arándano. Y un compañero de piso se parece mucho a un come moscas.

  Demetri Martin

  Divertido, Lo Siento, Humor

  Serie de televisión "Comedy Central Presents" ("Demetri Martin", 2004), www.imdb.com. (1998- ).

• I went into a clothing store, and the lady asked me what size I was. I said, 'Actual'. I'm not to scale.

  Demetri Martin

  Funny, Humor, Size

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

• My plumbing is all screwed up. Because it turns out, I do not own a garbage disposal.

  Demetri Martin

  Funny, Humor, Garbage Disposal

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

• I was seeing this girl and she wanted to get more serious. But I wasn't ready to, I had just gotten out of a difficult relationship before that. So I said to her, 'Listen, you have to understand something. Relationships are like eyebrows. It's better when there's a space between them.' And that's coming from a Greek guy.

  Demetri Martin

  Divertido, Chica, Humor

• I think it would be frustrating to be a match maker. "What do you do?" "I'm a match maker" "Aw, that's really romantic" "No, umm... I actually... never mind"

  Demetri Martin

  Divertido, Humor, Pensamiento

• I like birthdays because we celebrate life with cakes. It's so cool. Sometimes when I see a baby, I'm like that much more cake in the world. But then when someone dies, I'm like the cake streak is over.

  Demetri Martin

  Divertido, Bebé, Humor

• I was watching MTV and there were girls dancing in suspended cages. That would be an ambivalent situation: "I'm trapped! ...but enjoying the music".

  Demetri Martin

  Divertido, Chica, Humor

• I was in my friends garage, and he had; a kite, a yo-yo, and a boomerang. I was like "Dude, you have abandonment issues"

  Demetri Martin

  Funny, Humor, Issues

• Whenever I investigate a smell, I find that the answer is always bad. It's never: 'What is that? *sniff* muffins!'

  Demetri Martin

  Funny, Smell, Answers

• This is a pie chart about procrastination.

  Demetri Martin

  Divertido, Procrastinación, Humor

  "Demetri Martin. Person". Documentary, Comedy, Music, www.imdb.com. 2007.

• To me, comedy is a game.

  Demetri Martin

  Games, Comedy

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

• Skiing is my favorite sport, because, that's the only sport that is actually better to watch the worst the person is at it. "That guy won a gold medal in the Olympics" "Oh yeah, that's cool, i wanna watch the fat guy" "Come on dude, you can take that hill"

  Demetri Martin

  Divertido, Deportes, Humor

• When someone describes themself as a taxpayer, they're about to be an asshole.

  Demetri Martin

  Funny, Comedy, Taxpayers

• My friend has hand soap that smells like coconut. It's nice. Unless your hands are dirty from coconuts.

  Demetri Martin

  Funny, Nice, Dirty

• A veces siento que estoy haciendo una conexión con un extraño, pero luego resulta que no. Por ejemplo, estaba en un centro comercial, y vi a una señora golpeando a su hijo. Así que me acerqué a ella, y le dije, "¡Sí, agárralo!" Se enfadó conmigo. Le dije: "Estoy de tu lado".

  Demetri Martin

  Divertido, Niños, Tu Lado

• A veces, si realmente quiero llamar la atención de alguien, empiezo una frase con algo como: "No soy racista, pero...". Digo: "No soy racista, pero hoy estás estupenda". Dicen: "Eso no ha sido racista en absoluto". Yo digo: "Lo sé. Dije que no soy racista. Nunca escuchas. Típico mexicano".

  Demetri Martin

  Divertido, Mexicano, Típico

• El empleado del mes es un buen ejemplo de cómo alguien puede ser ganador y perdedor al mismo tiempo.

  Demetri Martin

  Funny, Humor, Example

  "Comedy Central Presents", www.imdb.com. March 19, 2004.

• I'm very hip-oriented. I focus on hips in my comedy - probably more than any other hipster comic who is out there hipping today. My hips, other hips. I work with my hips a great deal. That is what I do. But not in a gay way.

  Demetri Martin

  Hipster, Gay, Focus

  Fuente: www.avclub.com

• I like stand-up. But I'd also like a family and house and a yard. I want to work with a lot of people, have colleagues; and on good film sets, there's people there that work with the same people for years and years. I love that collaborative spirit in that medium. Comedy is a lot more solitary.

  Demetri Martin

  Years, People, House

  "Demetri Martin on ‘Standup Comedian,’ Comedy Central, balance". Interview with Katie Hasty, uproxx.com. October 07, 2012.

• I started being a comedy fan when I was, I'm going to guess, like 5 or 6 years old.

  Demetri Martin

  Years, Fans, Comedy

  "The Art of Being Demetri Martin". Interview with Jacob Brooks, www.huffingtonpost.com. January 20, 2012.

• I think there's a difference between making comedy and reporting comedy. When you're a joke teller you can easily fall into the second, you can show up and just say the jokes.

  Demetri Martin

  Fall, Thinking, Differences

  Source: www.maximumfun.org

• Me encuentro con gente a la que no le gusto, no le gusta mi comedia, no les parece divertida, es demasiado cursi o lo que sea que odien. Y es como: "Vale. Esa es tu opinión. A alguien le gustó, así que está bien". Esperemos que se equilibre.

  Demetri Martin

  Odio, Pensamiento, Gente

  Entrevista con Steve Heisler, www.avclub.com. 25 de febrero de 2009.

• But long story short, I didn't start doing stand-up because I wanted to have a TV show or be an actor or even wanted to write sketch comedy. I got into stand-up because I love stand-up.

  Demetri Martin

  Writing, Tv Shows, Long

  Interview with Steve Heisler, tv.avclub.com. February 25, 2009.

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