Steven Wright Quotes About Mothers

• If a mute kid swears, should his mother wash his hands with soap?

  Steven Wright

  Mother, Kids, Hands

• When I was a fetus, I used to sneak out at night when my mother was sleeping. I figured I should start stealing stuff while I still had no fingerprints.

  Steven Wright

  Mother, Sleep, Night

• My mother is from another time - the funniest person to her is Lucille Ball; that's what she loves. A lot of times she tells me she doesn't know what I'm talking about. I know if I wasn't her son and she was flipping through the TV and saw me, she would just keep going.

  Steven Wright

  Mother, Son, Talking

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