Mitch Hedberg Quotes - Page 16

• I saw a guy juggling chain saws, it was cool, unless something needed to be sawed down, then it's annoying.

  Mitch Hedberg

  Divertido, Humor, Guy

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• Incubado. Y luego criado. Y luego decapitado. Y luego desplumado. Y luego cortado. Y luego puesto en una parrilla. Y luego poner en un bollo. Maldita sea, va a tomar un tiempo. No tengo tiempo. ¡Revuelto!

  Mitch Hedberg

  Cutting, Buns, Damn

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• Onions make me sad, a lot of people don't realize that. When I'm cutting onions, I'm sad. Because the plight of onions, it's sad. But people don't realize I'm actually crying - they think I'm just reacting.

  Mitch Hedberg

  Corte, Pensamiento, Gente

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• Mitch”, but then reattach it and call it “Mitch-all-together.

  Mitch Hedberg

  Juntos

  "Live album: "Strategic Grill Locations"". September 7, 1999.

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• I went to a cigar store, the man behind the counter asked me, "What kind of cigars do you like?" I answered, "It's a Boys."

  Mitch Hedberg

  Divertido, Humor, Chicos

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• People who smoke cigarettes, they say "You don't know how hard it is to quit smoking." Yes I do. It's as hard as it is to start flossing.

  Mitch Hedberg

  People, Smoking, Quitting

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• Because of acid, I now know that butter is way better than margarine.

  Mitch Hedberg

  Divertido, Humor, Camino

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• I got an ant farm; them fellas didn't grow sh*t.

  Mitch Hedberg

  Ants, Grows, Farms

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• I know people who believe in ghosts but don’t believe in themselves. It’s kind of sad. Okay you don’t think you’ll ever make it as a musician, but last night you saw a translucent caveman.

  Mitch Hedberg

  Believe, Night, Thinking

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